The British Guy

Some Amusing, And Scary Incidents, That Happened To The British Guy

A Recent Photo of The British Guy

Recent Photo of The British Guy

Hi, The British Guy here, thank you for visiting my website. And allowing me to share with you some amusing incidents that happen to me when I was young. At a time when I did not have a care in the world.

I was very fortunate in having been borne and raised on a farm in England. And then to have lived in the United States of American. It was there where I was referred to as The British Guy and the nickname stuck.

Now residing in beautiful sunny Thailand where the Thai people refer to me as the Farang who is always smiling. Farang is not a derogative word, it is a generic Thai word for someone of European decent.

Thailand is affectionately known as the Land of Smiles. The Thai people are very friendly, quick to smile and are wonderful people.

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Where It  All Happened

It was a wonderful experience for me to be brought up on a farm back in England . I remember going to bed each night being very excited about getting up the following morning. Because everyday was a new experience, there was always something different happening each day.

The British Guy’s Friend, Basil the Boar

A very old photograph of a pig on my father’s farm

A Very Old Photograph of a Pig on My Father’s Farm

Just to the side of our house, on the farm, was a six-acre field where my father kept some sows, and a boar. When I was about eight or nine years old. One of my favorite pastimes was riding a particularly docile sow around the field.

One beautiful sunny day, I was partaking in my usual pleasant pastime. When I decided to ride the boar thinking that I would get a more stimulating ride. Much to my surprise he did not seem to object.

After a while I got bored and decided to head off home. So I climbed leisurely of the boar and started to walk away, at which point he swung round and sunk his teeth into my backside!!!

I took off like a rocket, not even daring to look back to see if he was chasing me. And not wanting to waste anytime getting out of that field. I then headed straight for the bathroom in the house, so I could inspect the collateral damage in private.

When I dropped my pants there where four huge slightly bleeding teeth marks in my little butt. Needless to say that I did not ever ride any pigs again.

It so happened about two years latter I was in high spirits as usual, heading for the woods going on yet another exploring adventure, that I decided to take a short cut through the 6-acre pig field. Up to this point I do not recollect having gone into this field, or even near to the pigs since my mishap with the boar.

The vision of those four huge bleeding teeth marks in my butt, are burnt into my memory, I can still see them now even after all these years.

Never Underestimate a Pig’s Memory, Especially A Boar’s

This is a Photo of The British Guy when He was 11 years old

The British Guy when He was 11 years old

As I was passing through the field in my path was the boar, his name was Basil. He was the nicest, good-tempered boar that you could ever wish to meet. I assumed that pigs do not have good memories. So I was sure that he would not remember our little misunderstanding, especially after two years.

So without hesitation or concern I walk up to Basil and started to say, “How is …”. The next thing I remember was lying flat-out on my back, staring up at this massive pig with huge tusks staring down at me. I was in total shock, I could not move. I can remember thinking that this is it; it’s all over for me now!!!

After a few moments he flicked his head as much as to say, “Do not ever mess with me again” and walked away.

Another one of those moments that is clearly etched into my mind, this giant pig with huge tusks staring down at me.

I was extremely lucky because fortunately I was wearing jeans and overalls so when Basil swung round on me and hooked one of his tusks into my leg, he did not get through to my flesh. If he had done so he could have done some real serious damage to my leg.

The conclusion that I came to after this incident was, not to underestimate a pig’s memory especially a boar’s. From that day forward, until Basil had passed on, I did NOT ever venture into that field again, even with my high spirit of adventure and recklessness. So at my tender age I realized that it was unwise to tempt providence again, I got the message loud and clear, I might not be so lucky next time.

Intelligent Mouse

On my father’s farm was a loft where we stored hay. I used to enjoy creeping into the loft and startling all the mice that went there to feed. There were so many mice that they would just scatter in all directions including straight at me.

So, all I had to do to catch a mouse, was to scoop one up as it ran between my legs. One day I caught one and was holding it by its tail, inspecting it as usual. When to my complete amazement it curled up, grabbed its own tail and then proceeded slowly to climb up it.

I had caught many mice but I had never seen one do this before. I was completely fascinated and mesmerized by it, I did not have a clue to why it was doing this. The mouse’s intentions became very clear when it reached and sunk its teeth into my thumb.

Quite naturally I instantly let it go. It was round about this time that my father decide to get some cats to deal with all of the mice because we were getting over run with them.

The British Guy’s Best Friend, And Buddy

A very old photograph of The British Guy when he was young, with his faithful dog

A very old photograph of The British Guy when he was young, with his faithful dog

When I was a little older I was given my own puppy, he was supposed to be a Jack Russell Terrier. It soon became clear that this was no Jack Russell, because he grew up to be one big fine dog.

He really enjoyed riding on the tractor with me, and barking at the other farm dogs that would chase after us.

He must have had some Jack Russell in him because he really loved to catch rabbits.

As time went by we became inseparable and life was so much more fun with having a buddy to share it with. One of our favorite pastimes was catching rabbits.

The Rabbit That Got Away

One day we chased a rabbit down one of their many holes, unfortunately for this rabbit, it went down a short burrow with no exit.

My buddy sprang into action frantically scratching away at the hole and as he dug nearer to the rabbit he became more excited. Soon he started to unearth the rabbit; at this point I stopped him because I did not want him to kill it.

I gently pulled the rabbit out of the short burrow. I was so excited at actually having caught a live rabbit that that I badly wanted to go to the toilet. And there was no way that I could wait until I got back home.

So I am holding the rabbit in my left hand by its hind legs and proceeded to unbuckle my belt on my trousers with my right hand. So that I could take my pants down, to take care of Mother Nature. It was then, that the rabbit must have sensed an opportunity to escape. Because it gave a quick jerk of its body, and it was gone.

Having lost the rabbit really upset me, to the point, that I no longer wanted to go to the toilet!! I am sure to this day, that my dog sensed my bitter disappointment. Because he then started to dig frantically at another burrow, in an attempt to cheer me up. However, it was clear that there was no rabbit down that hole.

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